Advice for parents
Grieving is so unique and personal to each individual. We know that how we have tried to cope and what we have found helped may not the same for someone else.
But we also know how lonely the grieving process can be and how confusing it is, trying to make sense of how you feel and whether the feelings are ‘normal’. So we just wanted to share a few things that helped us, in the first few days, weeks and months since we lost our precious little man.
First few hours
The first few hours are largely a blur.
We can hardly remember what was said or who said it. But what does stick out is the nurse in A&E advising us how to make that first dreadful phone to Elliot’s brother and sister, Oliver and Emily. We wanted to tell them face to face but couldn’t bear the thought of them coming to the hospital thinking that their brother was alive and then have that hope taken away from them.
The nurse very gently told us to just say the words straight away, no small talk, just be kind but direct. We followed this advice with all the other awful phone calls we had to make and it helped to keep it clear in our minds how to deliver such sad news.
When we finally got home after midnight we all stayed downstairs together all night, reassuring each other that we were all staying together was so important.
We even left the TV on all night just to drown out the quietness of the house.