We believe that with the right support, you will survive.
For us, when Elliot died, time just stopped. Life continued around us but we didn’t feel part of it anymore, we just existed in a bubble, living from minute to minute with so many immense emotions and feelings coming and going.
In the early days it didn’t seem real; the shock seemed to protect us and stopped the full impact from hitting us all at once. Everything felt surreal. Functioning even on the most basic level became almost impossible.
There are suddenly so many decisions to make. We went from planning Elliot’s third birthday to planning his funeral. How are you supposed to process that?
Right now, you may not be able to imagine making it through the next five minutes, never mind the next day or the next week. But, we want to share with you the hope that we carry and the belief that you will survive.
What’s driven our survival is the feeling that we owe it to our two other fantastic children and to the memory of our gorgeous little boy to make the most of life by carrying his spirit in our hearts and souls.
It’s like a line in the sand has been drawn on our lives that demands we make the most of every second.
There is no timetable of how you will feel and when, there is no telling what wave of emotion will hit you and what will trigger it, and there’s certainly no rule book on how all this works.
From our experience, No two days are the same.
Sometimes we talked, sometimes we cried but importantly we all recognised and accepted that we would go through different feelings at different times. We have found that the pain is always there but the intensity changes and we take hope from the days that are easier, to give us the energy to deal with the harder days.
The different help sections are designed to give you comfort, support and hope.
As our charity grows, so will the help we can give.
Some good advice that has stuck with us – don’t expect too much of yourself, just do what you can and look after yourself.